Regret

I’m sure when asked in an anonymous poll many people would agree to having regretted at least one significant event in their life. In any given day we make choices that affect the next moment, next day, and the next year of our lives without realizing it. What would it look like to live a life without regrets? No what ifs? No should-a, could-a, would-as. No looking back and wondering how the ending could have played out differently. What if life is like a “Choose Your Own Adventure Book”? The journey to get to the ultimate end varies depending on your choice. As a kid, I used to read ahead and choose the way I thought would be the best. If I didn’t like it, I would go back and choose the other option, “If Sally goes in the tunnel, turn to page 34. If she eats a hamburger, turn to page 67”. I kept going back and usually ended up reading through every possible option before realizing all the options lead to an end that isn’t really that horrible. Is God’s will like that? We choose paths in our life, but He has written the ending or endings? We may regret choices we make along the way, but if we trust His ending is coming, even if just the end of the chapter, can it lighten the load of regret? I want to choose to live a life without regret. Maybe learning to trust that God is the author of my adventure can help me to see my regrets as turns and twists on the path toward His plan instead of debilitating mistakes. Maybe taking an action can be as simple as meeting your favorite singer after a concert and telling him you appreciate his music. Letting sweaty armpits, a tied up tongue, and a racing heart stop you (along with the embarrassment of feeling like a seven year-old at a Hannah Montana concert) would end in regret if only for a couple of days. Maybe action is more difficult like moving across the country, ending a relationship, choosing to enter graduate school, or choosing to forgive someone who wronged you deeply. Whatever the choice, holding back doesn't have to be an option if you believe God will catch you. Ray Anderson, a professor at Fuller Seminary once said, "Choices are not black and white. There isn't one wrong and one right answer when you place God before you." That concept shattered my conventions of choice and God's will.

Maybe theologically I am making absolutely no sense, but to an individual paralyzed with fear and uncertainty, I believe looking at God in this way can help. He is good. His plan is good even if we can’t see it. I have to frequently remind myself to see the forest for the trees. I will inevitably make bad choices. Some of these choices I will be aware of and some will be thrust upon me against my will and possibly against my desperate attempts to avoid them. Knowing that God is bigger than bad choices or unfortunate circumstances helps me to don the glasses of trust in the author of my adventure. And, like C.S. Lewis writes, “He isn’t safe, but He’s good.” After all, what do you call a safe adventure? Boring.